When I grow up is one of those things that you hear come out of countless peoples mouths, and I always seem to catch myself thinking about when they going to actually believe they are grown. I think that most of them will probably see themselves most grown up when they accomplish what ever it is they want the most. But to me that seems wrong, I think there are multiple things that have to happen in order to make yourself believe that you are grown up.
“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”- Anais Nin
Right now I am real unsure about all the things necessary to learn and to realize that you have grown, but I honestly can say that I have encountered some of them. And by no means, am I saying that I am growing up too fast, or trying to grow up too fast, I am just saying that there have been times in last couple of days which make me feel uneasy and more “grown” about things.
First, Yesterday one of my close friends and I went to go look around at the mall and ran into a old friend that no longer attends the same high school as we do. Back when he did attend the same high school he sure had gotten into his fair share of trouble, as he will tell you, and that’s most of the reason he doesn’t attend anymore. But as we got talking about school, future plans, friends I noticed a huge shift in everything I thought I knew about the kid. He went from some one who could care less about what other people think about him, to telling us he hopes no one is holding anything against him at school. And now is getting all kinds of opportunities to extend his education through the help of the army. After shaking his hand and a honest “good luck,” I walked away with a weird feeling that I have witnessed a complete change in a person that I would of never thought would of.
To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.- Henri Bergson
I suppose there is one more little thing that got thinking about while staring off into space in either math or science class, and that’s my views on teachers and these adults that all of us kids are supposed to be learning all these important life lessons from… what a joke. Its weird to me for me to finally be able to look at a teacher or some one of authority and relate them to someone I know. Now, don’t get me wrong I do respect all of them and there are many, many good people teaching around here but the ones that I had been looking up too ever since middle school are kind of reminding me of the some of the jerks that I hang around with. I could throw these guys farther then I trust them , which let me tell you is quite an uneasy feeling.. HAHA Have a good night :)
Trust him not with your secrets, who, when left alone in your room, turns over your papers.- Johnann Kaspar Lavater
4 comments:
i completely agree, its hard to tell when you've really grown up, or in fact, what growing up even really means. I think the quote by Anais Nin hits it on the dot, growing is a chronological thing. Its random, depending on the lessons and experiences you go through in life.
And you know i agree on the part about your teachers.
Alot of them seem to have the same qualities that some of the more annoying people in my life have.
i think you'll be a grown up when you don't put smileys in your blog posts
kidding!
I dont know why youre so confused? haha its pretty obivous that youre gonna be a pro football player for the cowboys DUHH hahah :)
josh, this post shows that you're grown up. after your blog was put in the torch at school, i heard some people talking about it. If people say anything to you about it, don't let it bother you. They're the ones who aren't grown. It probably took a lot of courage to be able to put your true feelings in a high school newspaper for everyone to read. They just don't understand the maturity it takes to be in an actual relationship and to have feelings like that. Props to you kid :)
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