I guess it is...

While in one of our dorm rooms here at the University of Iowa, my friends and i got into quite a debate about our intentions here at the University. The question was "what do you want to accomplish by attending this university?" My answer is straight forward i feel as though i need a university degree to compete in the future job market and there fore make more money. Then one of my friends stated that he was here to learn as much as he possibly can. The conversation quickly turned to what is more important, Money or Happiness. And knowing my gut feeling I instantly thought to myself... have i become exactly what i have tried so hard not to become? The person who cares more about money than sheer happiness? Then the more i thought about it all, it all became more clear. The individual who said this is getting all of his college paid for and comes from a very wealthy family, which is completely fine not saying anything against that. of coarse happiness is more important to him that others because when you grow up without one isn't it natural to want the other? But my thinking on this subject is kind of the opposite. I am by no means saying i grew up in a poor household, far from it, but in my life all the unhappiness came from money, arguments were over money and that's all. So in my life money brought nothing but unhappiness. So isn't it natural for me to want the opposite? I feel as though i was brought up in a way where i could find happiness anywhere i look and if i were to make a lot of money happiness will always be there, and even without money happiness will always be there. Money the way i look at it makes everything just a little bit easier.

goodnight peace

Now What...?

I experienced an extremely difficult situation to understand this week, i have been thinking about it non- stop for the past couple of days. Actually thinking about it to the point where it is hard to sleep and makes my stomach have a constant nervous feeling, it is a terrible thing. This was my experience, my best friend for about 5 months and i are now not speaking, not visiting, not communicating in any way. This can really do some harm to the moral of any human being. Its hard for me to grasp the fact of breaking up...

This was one of the most difficult experiences i have been through thus far in my short inexperienced life. The thing that really makes me wonder is how a simple title, "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" change the way the society as a whole looks at you. Its and idea, a concept, a word, not a tangible object like a wedding ring. But this title has more power than you would ever believe. This title of boyfriend/girlfriend makes you choose what you do with you free time differently, makes you spend money differently, makes other people look completely different at you. And the most powerful of all turns people completely against you when it is removed. The thing that i am having such a hard time with, is the fact the my best friend that quite possibly knows more about me than even my parents, is just gone. That gives me such an uneasy feeling it makes me sick. The only reason i decided that this "relationship" was not gonna work was because of distance. Then i start to realize that this is quite depressing... I in reality lost one of my best friends and mutual friends because of an hour car ride. For some reason it doesn't stack up for me. I guess what i am getting at is that relationships should be saved for those who are a little more mature, and in the time in their life when having a significant other is vital. Because what you get out of it, which is a lot, is not worth what you are going to lose...... have a good night :/

From one of my best friends... Do what makes you happy :)